i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
