kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize