I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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