Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
