omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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