Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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