should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
