you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
