But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
