I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
