Just fell off a train. Bad.
one might say we're banned from that church
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I lost the right to judge tonight
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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