I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
How does one acquire holy water?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
