I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Randomize
