Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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