I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
