after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
