Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
