There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
