I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
she smelled like a LAN party
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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