every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize