I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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