her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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