Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
