sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
