I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
