You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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