eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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