You just made me feel so damn special
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
