Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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