Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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