dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
