HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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