big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize