Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
