yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
