CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
