Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
