remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
