I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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