I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
