We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
