Whoa Z and x make the same sound
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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