Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
