Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
