I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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