I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
