i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
