are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
