i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
