It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
false alarm. still invincible.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
