Your tits are I can't wait for
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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