I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Randomize
