Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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