Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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