It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
