he wants to bone in the snuggie
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
why do cheetos always look like penises
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
