I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
