yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
