I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
