Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
