Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
