every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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