I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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