i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize