i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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