Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
