Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
