Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
