Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
