Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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