I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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