Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
