Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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