and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
