My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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