I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
