Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
