I am puke
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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