i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
