what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
