wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
